Olympic game titles just for Texans

Alison Rombough

Immediately after looking at the Summer season Olympics for the previous two months, I have a concern for all y’all. All the signs in stadiums and arenas in Tokyo browse “2020 Olympics,” and except if I’m down to my past brain mobile, I believe that it’s now 2021. I suppose it’s owing to past year’s Olympics obtaining to be scrubbed due to COVID, but it’s really messing with my feeble brain. Ever due to the fact I retired and the typical Television set period finished, I rarely know what day it is. And now, each time I tune in to NBC sports, I see it’s 2020. I’m frightened to go into Walmart. If I were to see Christmas decorations on their cabinets now, I imagine I’d roll up into a ball and cry.

Considering the fact that I see NFL teams have started their teaching camps, I’m fairly confident it’s nevertheless summer time. And until eventually football resumes in September, there’s a lull in sports unless you’re one of the few baseball supporters out there. So, I have come up with a 7 days-very long sporting celebration to hold us about until finally football kicks off. I simply call it “Texas Summer months Olympics.”

There will be a range of functions that are distinctive to Texas and our beautifully toasty summer season weather. None of these functions have been in the Tokyo Olympics, so you will be looking at them for the initially time. I question I can get it organized and sponsored this yr, so glimpse for it subsequent yr. Here’s a line-up of 2021/2022 Texas Summer Olympics. 

There will be the Sweaty T-shirt Race. Contestants will stand out in the sun for 10 minutes. The initially one particular to absolutely soak his shirt wins. If no shirt is fully soaked following 10 minutes, we’ll wring out the shirt into a rain gauge to measure the sweat.

We’ll have the Barefoot 100 Meter Sprint. Speedy athletes will operate barefooted by a pasture whole of grass burs and soaked cow patties.

Only the courageous will enter the Yellow Jacket Scatter. Contestants will assemble beneath a hornets nest even though a marksman slings a rock at it. The very last contestant to get off managing for his everyday living will be the winner.

Just one occasion that many of y’all might’ve when participated in is River Tubing. Contestants will float down a Texas river in an inner tube with a cooler of cold beer strapped to its facet. Also hooked up to the tube will be a thermometer to measure any alter of h2o temperature. The contestant who can journey the farthest without having peeing in the river wins.

The Texas High Soar is a tiny different from what you might’ve witnessed in Tokyo. Listed here, a contestant ought to go into a pasture with an ornery Brangus bull and taunt him right up until he rates. Contestants should very clear the leading wire to have a opportunity of profitable and of siring offspring.

H2o Polo, other than there is no ball or internet. Contestants ought to swim throughout the size of the pool and effectively toss his empty beer can into a 5-gallon bucket. The contestant who will get the most empties into the bucket after a 12-pack of Lone Star beer wins.

For those people who like watching endurance functions, we’ll have the Porta-Potty Obstacle. Contestants will have to enter a Porta-porty at a building web-site on a scorching Friday afternoon. The just one who lasts the longest within with out passing out or vomiting wins the contest and gets to shower.

The Blue Bell Bicycle Race pits bicyclists to race versus every single other and the Texas warmth. Contestants have to obtain a quart of ice product at HEB and vacation 10 miles to the end line. Any person who can make it with unmelted Blue Bell gets to consume it. 

The Big Splash is for all those water sports lovers. Contestants must perform a cannonball off the diving board. Biggest splash wins except if they rip their drawers in the approach which success in disqualification.

There will not be any medals provided to the winners. As a substitute, the athletes will get an ice cold Blue Ribbon. So, are y’all arranging to tune in up coming summer time for the 2000-a little something Texas Olympics? I’m not absolutely sure what network will have it. Perhaps the Longhorn Community because the SEC won’t make it possible for their games to be on that channel.


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